Belated lodge update

[head_porter.cowspan@gmx.co.uk]
[CONFIDENTIAL]

Dear all,

I am now able to tell you that the unofficial policy of "running silent" that seems to have sprung up in the lodge is no longer required.

So here's our belated Lodge roundup.

Coming-up weekend was no more chaotic than ever, so well done to everybody!

Some of the parents were a little nonplussed to suddenly hear their darlings speak with a plum in their mouth as soon as they entered the foyer. Older hands will know this is not unusual, it's how students from less affluent backgrounds think they will fit in better. The parents look rather sad as they leave, I don't know the answer to this.

Thank you for spending time with new students who have come to the lodge with vague requests, the problem is often that they are homesick, those who did not attend public schools sometimes feel a sort of culture-shock.

The Head Tutor has spoken to the chap manning the SU stall at the Fresher's Evening in Vachepont Magna, I am told the Students' Union is going to discuss the appropriateness of displaying leaflets for students who might enter sex-work, given the rather nebulous definition of such work adopted by committees comprised of students who have limited experience of life beyond their own horizons.

As usual, we've had somebody turn up at the city hospital after having drunk more alcohol than they were able to cope with. Our arrangement with the city's Street pastors has again paid off, more than justifying the payment to them from the Vachepont family's endowment to College.

Keep up the good work!

Wat

Charles Watson Tyler
Head Porter
Cowspan College
Vachepont Parva 
[CONFIDENTIAL]