Re: An unsettling sculpture has appeared at College

From: bursar.cowspan@gmx.co.uk
To: chaplain.cowspan@gmx.co.uk, [Fellows and senior officers list]
Refer: An unsettling sculpture has appeared at College

Dear Chas,

I've been going over this all day, but will do so one more time for your benefit.

I was given control of a discretionary fund for cultural events to represent our year dedicated to fighting oppression on campus, which is only sensible as, being Bursar, it is I who would sign off on any such funds anyway.

I arranged with a London firm of goldsmiths to subcontract a bronze-caster for the piece that you saw this evening, which is there today to test ground resilience and other settling issues. The piece is called "she", to capture the sense of the eternal feminine.

Gender, as I'm sure you of all people will recognise (given your reaction when our Deputy Head Porter called you "love"), is at the root of almost all contemporary oppression. We have nuclear warheads in phallic rockets threatening civilisation, phallic pillars holding up the Palladian front to the Cowspan's new section, even the phallic Cross in College Chapel; these and so many other examples epitomise oppression.

It is time for the vaginal to rise above the phallic, the menstrual to gain hegemony over the seminal. I am a freedom-fighter, like you, and would appreciate your help in bringing the sniggering students up to speed.

Yours

Tamsin

Tamsin Unwin-Harris
Bursar
Cowspan College
Vachepont Parva